More settled

Posted by Tamie on Sunday, March 2, 2008

Those promised pictures are just never going to come. We lost our camera charger and have nothing to show for our new house, our 8 foot igloo, Tyran, Tanner or Jordan's birthday. A friend just asked me a question I've been thinking a lot about:

"You seem happier and a little more "settled" than you have been before. Are you feeling that way as well? Feeling like you are where you should be, like life is going in the right direction for you? "

I guess I am feeling that way. There were a lot of hard times in West Jordan but I can say that the things I learned needed to be learned. I've been able to let go of a lot--the need to have things done my way for one thing. I've let go of my expectations of myself and others learning to just be grateful for what people do (especially all they sacrifice) or what I'm able to do rather than criticize myself or others for where we fall short. I think I'm a kinder person. Kinder to myself and those around me. And it's a big load off.

The things I learned I think prepared me for deeper and more fulfilling friendships. And I learned so much from friends like Mindy, Natalie, Sarah, Suzanne, Annie, Emily, Theresa--those who showed me so much love. I just feel really blessed to have been surrounded by the people I was and now the new woman around me as well (Mary Ann, Mary, Sarah, Liz, Janna). A friend was recently talking about meeting Sister Beck. That would be so neat! However, I realized that I honestly feel just as blessed knowing the women I know.

So moving here sort of feels like a fresh start as a kinder Tamie. And there are women here and people here and kids here who we were meant to know. And there are big trees, lots of birds--I didn't realize how lifeless things felt in west Jordan until we were in Hawaii. I knew I needed to live somewhere with more life. Our yard, a few years ago, was awarded the most beautiful yard in Orem award. Lots of rose and a lot of work. I'll have to downsize but it's neat to have something beautiful to work with. And I knew our family needed to live by water. I also realized that in Hawaii. Now we can walk to the rec center--Ryan and Tanner swim regularly. And in the summer we have a neighborhood pool. We're also close to EVERYTHING. I'm certainly spending more on groceries but we're eating fresher. Life just feels abundant--good food, great people, recreation . . . last winter I became addicted to ebay looking for these dumb red sweaters for Christmas outfits for the boys. I was so lonely. This winter has been full of friends who want to get together, family, cousins--we're in such a good location that we get so many more old friends or family members coming over.

I wish I could convince everyone to move here with us. However, I truly believe the Lord does care about where we each live--I'm sure you're just where you should be. We've been drawn to this place for some very specific reasons and I'm so grateful I was submissive enough to consider a home I would never have looked at on my own criteria.

I bore my testimony today. I talked about how I have a really hard time making decisions. I get so worried that I wont make the right decision or the best decision. I've realized that if I would put a little more faith in the atonement then I wouldn't have to worry so much. There's no way I'll always make the best decision but if I'm living faithfully then I can have peace and comfort knowing that the atonement will intervene on my behalf. The Lord will support me, "get my back," if I'm being faithful and obedient. What a relief! I'm so grateful to have him on my side. Him and Ryan. With them backing me up, I think I can let go of some of these worries. So I just wanted to pass on my testimony. I suppose it's a testimony that we can have peace. We can let go of our worries. We can make decisions in confidence because of the atonement.

Love you all!

Tamie
Comments (1)

Tam,

I love that. I totally see that change coming over you lately and we are all experiencing a happier, more content and laid back Tamie. We love you no matter what. We are much happier having you closer too.

I really loved your thoughts, Thanks.

Katie

Posted March 6, 2008 at 12:41 PM by Blogger The Boyles